Like most men, LKB loved checking out women. Unlike most men, he felt the need to comment loudly and get everyone around him to participate as well. As you can imagine, in most cases that didn’t go well for LKB.
Scenario #1
*LKB, AJ and I were sitting in the college cafeteria. CJ, a voluptuous buxom babe, passes by our table*
LKB: Man, look at that a**!
AJ: Ummmm…
LKB: Don’t you love an a** like that?
AJ: Errrr…
LKB: Man, the things I’d to that a**! Oh yeah, I would smack it and watch it wobble and smack it some more!
*At this point LKB starts smacking an imaginary butt while signing Akon‘s Smack That*
AJ: Dude! Stop that!
LKB: C’mon! An a** that fine, you gotta smack it. I mean, you must be like super gay, not to smack that a**!
AJ: You do realize that CJ is my sister?
LKB: Errrrr…. Ummmm….
AJ: F^&*ing C&*#!
Me: Hahahaha….! LKB does it again!
Scenario #2
*LKB, BK and I were at the bus stop, waiting for the college bus*
LKB: See that new chick at our stop? She’s ugly man!
Me: Uh..huh..
LKB: She’s so ugly, even Quasimodo wouldn’t date her!
Me: Hahaha…
LKB: She’s so ugly that the only way she’ll get laid, is that she’s with a blind guy!
Me: Good lord!
LKB: She’s so ugly, she can go to a Halloween party without a costume!
Me: Hahahaha…
*BK smacks LKB on the back of his head*
BK: That’s my sister, you dumb f%^&!
Me: Hahahahaha….
LKB: You knew it all along, didn’t you?
Me: Yup!
LKB: Why didn’t you tell me anything?
Me: I wanted to see you get smacked on the back of your head! 😀
LKB: F@#$ Off!
Scenario #3
*LKB, RK and I were at the beach*
LKB: See that bike parked there?
Me: Yeah?
LKB: That’s a sh*tty bike!
Me: Uh..huh..
LKB: My winged rider is waaaaay better than that piece of crap!
Me: Uh…huh..
LKB: That bike is so crap, that it makes an auto rickshaw look like an Harley Davidson!
Me: Too much!
RK: Knock it off! That’s my bike!
LKB: I know! 😛
A Diary Of A Whiny Guy 