Do The Sherlock!

Lately, CG, MS and I have been watching a lot of BBC’s Sherlock and oh boy, we’re in love with Sherlock. During one of our routine trips to our favorite microbrewery in the city, we noticed a middle aged gentleman sitting near our table along with a kid. After a couple of pints, CG suggested that we do some Sherlock style analyzing and come with a profile.

CG: Alright! Lets do the Sherlock!  

Me: Awwwright!

CG: Man – Middle aged. Married. That explains the kid. 

Me: Absolutely! The kid is roughly three years old. So probably it’s a recent marriage.

CG: He’s wearing shorts. So he’s probably a regular here. He knows the dress code, et all. 

Me: He’s got a toned body. Must be a regular at a gym.

CG: Yeah, seems like a fitness freak. He’s eating a salad. 

Me: He’s got an iPad. Must have a well paying job.

CG: Yup! He’s got an iPhone too! 

Me: The wife’s not here. Probably travelling. 

CG: Makes sense. But why would a guy bring his three year old kid to a pub?

Me: Wait! They might be divorced. Which mom would go on a vacation leaving behind a three year old kid? 

CG: I don’t see a ring on his finger. I think you’re right!

Me: Look at the kid. That guy is letting her play with the iPad. He’s not too concerned about her smearing the screen with food. Looks like he’s overlooking that because he doesn’t want to scold her! 

CG: Because he gets to spend only a limited time with her! Makes sense!

Me: The kid’s being fussy and he’s letting her get away with it. Yup, divorced dad who’s spending some quality time with his daughter. 

CG: Awesome! It all fits now! A middle aged,  well to do executive spending some time with his daughter. We’re so AWESOME!

 Me: Oh yeah! High Five!

*High fives are exchanged*

A few minutes later, a similarly dressed gentleman, though more effeminate looking, walks in. He goes to the same table as the middle aged guy, hugs him and they exchange kisses. After that he picks ups the kid and places her on his lap. The kid hugs him back and says ‘Daddy!’.

CG: Well, we didn’t think of that.

Me: Yeah, that was a possibility. Damn, we’re not smart after all. 

CG: Maybe, it’s the beer? 

MS: No shit, geniuses!

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KMN! KMN! KMN!

Overheard at the local Quiznos.

Boy – 19 years old. Busy fiddling with his Iphone.

Girl – Probably the same age. Busy playing with her hair.

Boy: Hey, did I tell you that there’s this new chick who’s after me?

Girl: Who’s that?

Boy: That girl from my class, Blah Blah. 

Girl: Oh her? Really?

Boy: I don’t really like her. See her pic. She’s got a fat nose. 

Girl: Yeah dude, she’s got no class.

Boy: Check out this girl. She’s interested in me too. And so is this one. 

Girl: Wow, Chick #3 is hot. 

Boy: Yeah, but I like them both. May I can date them both. 

Girl: Yeah, you could do that. Sounds like fun.

Boy: Also did I tell you that I went to this club yesterday and the bouncers thought that I was 28.

Girl: Hehehe. So stupid those bouncer people are!

Boy: Yeah man, I was like, ‘no way man! I’m 19! But they wouldn’t believe me.

Girl: Awwww, you poor thing.

Boy: Maybe because I’m so tall and good looking, they thought that I was older.

Girl: Totally! I can see that. Hehehehehe!

Me: Morons! F!@#ing Morons! KMN! 

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B(.)(.)BY TRAPPED!

Recently, the whole gang was chilling at my place and one my friends, PBA was showing us this new app he had downloaded on his iPhone.

PBA: Guys! Check out this app! It tells you awesome dares that you can perform!

CG: Read one out!

PBA: Squeeze a woman’s boobs for atleast 10 secs. If you’re a woman, then you can squeeze your own boobs.

Me: Sweet! Me likey!

CG looks at me.

CG: Dude, you’ve got your work cutout for you. You can squeeze your man-boobs!

Everyone is on the floor laughing.

Me: Dafaq!

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