Are You Gonna Be My Bitch?

CG and I were returning home from watching a god awful musical.

*We reach our apartment door*

Me: Dude, open the door.

CG: I don’t have the key.

Me: Who locked the door when we left?

CG: Well, it was… Oh wait, it was me.

Me: No sh*t, Sherlock.

CG: Jeez, you don’t have to be a bitch about it!

Me: Whatever! Quit stalling. 

CG: Let me search my jacket.. Wait, not in this pocket… Where did it go?

Me: Don’t tell me you lost the key?

CG: Chill man!

Me: If you’ve lost the key, I’ll bitchslap you. I’ll bitchslap you with a pistol. I’ll pistol whip you. I’ll pistol whip you till you’re my bitch. You got that?

CG: Jesus! Man, you have violent tendencies.

Me: Uh..Huh….. I wonder why….?

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