My friend, FF is an avid collector of porn. Unlike most men, who go lengths to hide their porn collection, FF would boast about his collection to anyone who would care to listen. All his porn, all 150 GB of it would be classified neatly. As far as I could remember, in 2006, 150 GB of free space was a luxury very few people could afford to have. From Asian to Latino, from Caucasian to Interracial, which would be further classified into softcore, hardcore, x-rated, xxx-rated, whatever-rated,FF had it all. And his biggest fan happened to be none other than LKB.
This used to be LKB’s routine as soon as we would enter FF’s room.
1. Bolt the door.
2. Turn the volume up.
3. Play the most bare backing-iest, ball slappy-iest porn movie he could find, while FF and I would suddenly decide to talk about an assignment that was due in class.
4. Plug in headphones and listen to the whole thing. (I never got that part).
5. Disappear mysteriously for couple of minutes to the loo. (We all know where he went. It’s very subtly implied).
6. Come out looking ‘refreshed’.
Well, on one such occasion his mom happened to call. Instead of letting the phone ring, LKB decided to attend the call.
FF paused the movie, so that LKB could talk without sounding *funny*.
LKB: Hey mom, hold on. Dude, let the movie play, I can do both.
FF and I: For real?